bottom

1. Anally receptive partner, sometimes misleadingly called “passive.” If you want to be on bottom with me, I hope you will be anything but “passive.”

2. In control scenes, the Bottom plays a submissive role. Despite appearances, in reality, the Bottom is ultimately the one with all the power.

cybersex

Chatroom (or webcam) equivalent of phone sex.  (I’m not interested).

GWM

Gay White Male.  It describes me.  You have to be gay and male to interest me sexually, but any race is good.

lol

abbrev. Laugh out loud. Used in chatrooms.

LTR

Long-Term Relationship (opp. ONS). A usually live-in relationship generally lasting years, usually with an assumption of permanance.  (I’m very interested, but only with the right guy).

ONS

One-Night Stand (opp. LTR). (I’m interested, but only if you know how to smile).

phone sex

Mutual masturbation while communicating by telephone.  (I’m not interested).

pic

Digitally scanned photograph, usually in GIF, JPG, or BMP format.  You send one by email or URL if you want to meet. No pic, no r/t.  Ok, not really. But you need a really good excuse for not having a pic. A good excuse is “My boyfriend would be insulted if I made a public scene of getting laid behind his back.”  A very, very bad excuse is “I’m not really out of the closet, and my wife would freak.” The best excuse I’ve heard yet was, “Abercrombie & Fitch has an exclusive on my image, so it’d be a breach of contract if I sent you a pic. But you can see me at www.aandf.com : I’m the guy on the left.” The point is, you don’t have to be drop-dead gorgeous (of course, that never hurts), but you do need to be out of the closet.

r/t

Real-Time sex (opp. cybersex). Actual contact.  It’s the only kind I want.

safeword

A pre-arranged word or signal used to halt a heavy control scene. There are two reasons for having a safeword: one is so the top will know when to stop; the other is so he’ll know when to keep going.  If you have a safeword, you can have fun yelling “no no no” when you really mean “harder.”  If a gag is used, the safe “word” may actually be a tune to hum.

top

1. Anally insertive partner, sometimes called “active,” suggesting a false dichotomy.  Ideally, both partners are quite active.

2. In control scenes, the Top is the person in the controlling role, reqardless of whose penis is where.  It’s a role, and it’s strictly fantasy, because in fact the bottom is always in control, and can stop everything by uttering his safeword.

URL

Universal Resource Locator.  Fancy short jargon name for a web address. Usually http://www.somethingorother.com

versatile

Willing and able to perform sexually as either Top or Bottom.  I’m willing (and eager) when the stars align, but I’m 92% Top by disposition.  I split right down the middle with the right guy, though.